Dear President Hollande
I have long been a fan of lavender. Also of baguettes, foie gras, Les Miserables, Napoleans and Napolean as well as a vast assortment of fromage français. Also pommes frites about which I could wax poetic endlessly but that shall have to wait for a future discourse.
Today, I am wondering if there might be a hybrid position that would represent a win/win for both of us. I am nearly certain that I might be able to trace some lineage back to Henry IV (by way of Murray I, Ellis I, Morris VIII and Abe the Terrible) and have been wondering if there might be a place for a ceremonial and practical figurehead for the seemingly forgotten House of Bourbon. [Mmmmm…bourbon.] I say ceremonial because I will make a solemn commitment to celebrate and toast all things trés belle et trés beaux throughout your country on a daily basis. As for the practical side, it has been a long while since Monet’s time at Giverny and I fear your great museums needs some freshening up. To the end, I promise that a great part of my new position will be capturing the vast and varied numbers of spectacular flowers that your country produces. And not just lavender…oh no. (Although remind me to tell you of a skirmish I recently got into with some friends across your channel about English vs French Lavender. Pfffft…how ugly things turned around such a beautiful topic. Ahem…not unlike the foul stench that seems to hover over my country of late.)
I shall spend weeks on end with the Lilies, Gourdon and Iris Flowers that grow wild across your country. The Rosemary and Cacti Cours Saleya will bat their petalled eyelashes at me and blush as I capture their souls for all eternity. Then on to the myriad Multicolored Roses, Poinsettias, Sunflowers, Daffodils Gerberas, and Castile.
Sound like a plan?
If it helps my case, my many friends at the House of Coty will vouch for me.
I await your reply.
Passez une bonne journée
Alan Wright Shapiro
#seekingasylum #escapingtheasylum #buildgardensnotwalls #makelavendernotwar