Saturday, January 29, 2011
The real story of how legwarmers came to be invented
Rumor has it that back in 1981, a certain peacock farmer in Montezuma, Kansas had grown quite upset after his continuing efforts to breed a peacock with more plumage on its lower extremities failed. (He was frequently overheard saying "All I want is just one stinkin' bird with nicer gams.") He then begged the women of his rural town to knit brightly colored tubes for his flock to match his assortment of Buford Bronze, Spalding Purple and India Blue peafowl. The women agreed for they were all tired of pettipoint and quilting and he had promised them that each would have a chick named after her. The women set to work knitting pair after pair that were loose enough so as to fit over the peacocks and peahen's oversized talons. With nothing to hold them up, they ended up all slouchy.
It was then that a very enterprising local aerobics instructor happened to drive by the farm and over a bit of chicken coop wiring (that said farmer had angrily thrown into the road) leaving her with a flat tire and several hours to wait for her cousin to come with the towtruck. Soon after a fad was born.
Little known fact: If you play the soundtrack to Flashdance backwards, you'll very clearly hear the sound of happy peacocks.