Dear King Willem-Alexander,
In light of the recent events in my country, I am writing to you to inquire as to whether you might consider the creation of a new and very forward thinking position within your royal court; that of Royal Flower Photographer. It occurs to me that yours is a country filled with millions of hectares of rolling beauty and color, and that you might be willing to partake of my particular set of skills and extreme passion. Wouldn't it be nice for you to rekindle the Renaissance tradition of patronage of the arts during these tumultuous and unsettling modern times. As magnificent as Rembrandt and Vermeer were, I'm sure you would agree they did not do justice to your country's flowers. Flowers which lift our spirits and unify us while we celebrate their individuality, beauty and uniqueness...providing a metaphor for what is possible as a global community.
I wonder whether things here might have taken a decidedly different turn had someone...anyone... spoken of building gardens rather than walls. But sadly, hindsight gets us nowhere. And we must move forward...so here I stand contemplating safe haven in your beautiful country.
(As a brief aside: may I ask whether your famed windmills were more active given the fierce, gusty rhetoric that swept out of my country as the metaphorical dams (and more literal "dames") were burdened beyond measure and could not contain it all?)
I will await further instructions as to what additional credentials or letters of recommendation you may require of me.
I stand here committed to the role with high hopes of making the world that much more breathtakingly; or at the very least, your particularly beautiful corner of it.
Alan Wright Shapiro
Your humble (future?) servant.