Another day, another weary but joy-filled gunfighter who works at keeping the peace amongst the good, the bad and the ugly in a rough and tumble prairie town with the help of a cripple, a drunk and a young gunfighter who dances with wolves, passes the time waiting for a long overdue stagecoach carrying his one true love by watching cattle drives with his pet dove (who always seems lonesome) and his seven magnificent border collies (named Shane, Butch, Sundance, Josey, Maverick, Tonto and Mongo) and perfecting his prize-winning "muy loco" bacon-wrapped Rocky Mountain Oysters recipe (despite the "blazing saddles" that follow the day after).
Editor's note: do not think of the theme song from "Bonanza" (http://youtu.be/IsypUGOyhz4) now. Seriously, don't do it.